Introducing... Our Half Bath!

Since I've been posting about bathrooms for the last couple of days I figured I would keep this bathroom train rolling and introduce my half bath. Waaaaahooooo!!! Who is excited!?! And guess what? I am not even going to give it to you in Chronicle form. I am going to show you the before and after in one single post. Can you even imagine!

Here is a glimpse at the finished product:

Unfortunately, this is the only photo I have of our bathroom before we changed it.

Bathroom changeover list:

• That bathroom was like a dungeon so I had my handyman Dave add an extra light to the ceiling. I spraypainted the can light covers to change them from a dingy off-white to a bright white.

• Painted the 80s oak cabinets black. First, I primed it with Glidden Gripper in gray. Then I painted it the blackiest black color I cound find.

Here is a closeup I had of the vanity from another bathroom we changed out. They were identical.

• The hardware was changed out for something more my style.

• We had Handyman Dave (HD) change out the yellowed counter for a nice pure white one.

• Mister HD changed out the faucet.

• We took out a towel bar that was meant for serious towels (not hand towels). And, I put up a hand towel bar next to the sink.

• The builder grade mirror came down and was replaced with a framed one that I bought at Hobby Lobby. Here is a little Hobby Lobby secret: a lot of their stuff is 50% off every other week. So, if you see a mirror you like and it isn't marked down just wait a week and buy it then. You do run the risk of someone else buying the mirror who doesn't know about the 50% off secret!

• We de-popcorned the ceiling. One day I may share that whole process with you. Our house is about 60% de-popcorned and that is about all we can handle for now. It is pretty hard work!

• We changed the carpet to tile. Carpet in front of the toilet is not my idea of a good time.

• We changed out the door knob and hinges from brass to polished nickel.

• Art was added.

I painted the art on the left. When we first moved in we painted the area around the sink a dark rose color. So, I tied the gray and rose color together with the paintings. The rose color left the wall, but kept its spot on the paintings.

Here is a closeup of the framed pictures on the right.

I found a bunch of cool old pamphlets and advertisements in an antique shop. I cut them all to pieces, framed them individually with black constructions paper and glued them onto some cardstock. They were meant for the kitchen but happened to be the right size for the bathroom. Now, people get to read about the weird ways that people thought about bananas in the 1960s while they take a trip to the baño.

How about a couple more after photos:

Sorry that they look completely different. One was taken with a flash and the other wasn't.

The photo below is a better representation of the real deal.

For a while, this was one of the only rooms in the house that I called completely finished. But it has recently made its way off that list. Now, I am ready to change up the art again. I want something a bit brighter. And you know I will let you in on it when it happens!

And a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my best (and most pregnant) friends!!!

Happy New Year's Eve! A List Of Where To Celebrate!

Happy New Year's Eve!!! Today, NL has got a little list action for you. 

THE 12 BEST PLACES TO CELEBRATE NEW YEAR'S EVE!

• Anywhere- as long as you're with the ones you love!

• Times Square, New York with one million other people

• Kiribati or Samoa. Those beautiful islands are the first place in the world to countdown the new year. I believe one of NL's readers, Richard, recently went to Kiribati. Richard, is Kiribati the place to be to ring in the new year?

• American Samoa- the last place to celebrate the new year. If you loved 2012 this is your way to hold onto it for just touch longer!

Doesn't it seem crazy that Samoa and American Samoa are about as close as islands can get and they are 25 hours apart. Planning things could get a bit tricky. By the way, I do realize that this crazy time warp has to happen somewhere. But I bet the fact that they are both Samoas makes things slightly funkier. Below is a some map action for you.

• On the floor doing sit-ups or whatever you can do to get your resolution started. Yes, it may be a little lame to get your workout on at midnight. But doing so will certainly prove that you're serious. 

• Awesome dance party! Go have some fun! Get your dance on. Bring your own playlist (from here).

That is a serious dance party. I do realize that I am making the world's creepiest face. My super flexible sister is bridging it up above me.

• In a time-traveling DeLorean where you can pick the year you want to celebrate in.

• Big Ben, London. Celebrate the new year by watching an enormous clock with a bunch of lovely-accented people! The Royal Greenwich Observatory in London also has quite a few fancy clocks. 

Not quite Big Ben, but at least Abbey Road is in London.

• On the plane where you can fly through all sorts of time zones and celebrate New Year's multiple times! About 20 years ago, my mom, sister and I flew home from Australia and were thrilled to get to say HAPPY NEW YEAR about 5 different times as the pilot announced it over the loudspeaker.

• San Francisco, a fireworks factory or anywhere that has a great fireworks display. I kind of doubt that firework companies put on a fancy display on New Year's Eve. But, they should!

• And, on the other side of the spectrum... a clear sky to watch the stars and think of all the fun you had in 2012.

• Last, and probably least, a clock store where you can see 2013 happen all around you! Everyone knows that clock stores are open 24 hours a day every day of the year.

There she is! The New Year's List of a Lifetime!

Don't forget, yesterday I shared an awesome New Year's Eve playlist that my sister and I made. Go ahead and press that big triangle play button and get to listening! My sister spent a long time making it available to you online. If you have Spotify, click here to get your music on.

One more thing... a New Year's Eve birthday shout out to a bud I've known since kindergarten.

sources: Kiribati, American Samoa, map, DeLorean

I'm Here For You, Google

Dear Google,
I know you get tired of answering people's questions all the time. So, I'm here for you. I'm going to take a load off your back by answering some of the questions you get asked.

Let's start with the "whats." I entered "what is" into Google's magical question-answering space and here are the the questions I got:

What is Scientology?
Alright (pronounced I-ight, if you're hip), people, let's talk Science with a little bit of tology. Here is what I know about the infamous religion.
Tom Cruise is the owner of all Scientologists.  Somehow, Tom talked my good buddy, Will Smith, into becoming a member. WILL... WHY!?!?!? Why oh why would you do that? And, more importantly, WHEN will you make another movie that lives up to the standards you set with Enemy of the State. That was, quite possibly, the best movie ever. Don't get me wrong- MIB III... not too shabby. Yep, for whatever reason, MIB III was the only movie I saw in the theater in 2012. 
Back to Scientology- Senor Hubbard is an alien from planet Melmac. He put his spirit into Tom Cruise and inspired him to do things like jump on couches and be the tiny man that he is.
That, my friends, is what you need to know about Scientology.

What is my ip?
You may have a keyboard that leaves off certain letter like l, h, t, k, or z. If that is the case, here you go:

L"ip" and H"ip"

T"ip"

K"ip"

from Napoleon Dynamite

Z"ip"

enormous zipper photo found here

If you are wondering about an ip address then you came to the wrong source. I am not quite as learned in ip addresses as I am in Scientology. An ip address is the individual ID that your computer is assigned. It is only important when you are setting up your wireless network. 

If you are trying to figure out what the actual number is. Go to your control panel. You can probably find something from there.


What is gluten?
Aha!!!! Something that I actually know a little bit about. Gluten is found in wheat, barley, and rye. Luckily, it is not in quinoa (mmm quinoa is delicious!). Celiac disease is a digestive disorder. If you have it you had better stay away from gluten because gluten will make your body pretty upset. Some people think that avoiding gluten can help fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. I know quite a few un-gluteners (that is their perferred title) and they all love Rice Works chips and Udi's bread.
There you go- now you are all gluten-knowledged up!

What is instagram?
Yes, yes Instagram. It is the hip, new thing that all the kids are doing. If you have a fancy, smart phone then you download the app. for Instagram. You take photos with it that have funky effects and can make your picture look like it was taken in 1975. You can share your photos with your pals. You might even be able to write comments about your photos. Instagram seems awesome and I wish I was hip enough to use it.

Google, you know me too well! I typed "weird instagram" into Google Images and this popped up. I am not really sure how this was taken by Instagram but Google says it was so I have to believe them. And, everyone knows that this post needed another photo of Bea Arthur.

You're Welcome, Google! I'm here for you.

And just to keep Cora's fans happy... here she is!

Now, the Would You Rather Election question of the day:

WYR... elect Dwight (from the TV show, The Office) as President of the USA
or
elect Kevin (from The Office)?


image sources: Tom & Will, Beautiful Bea, Tip, Kip, Gluten Free, Dorothy & Blanche

The Ridiculous Polaroid 3

Welcome back to another edition of 

The Ridiculous Polaroid.

It looks like Christina won again. Seriously, how could she not? Here are the past two photos that brought her to victory.

To level the playing field a bit I am going to take Christina out the the running this time. 

To her fans: don't worry. I promise you she will be back with a vengeance.

Without (much) further ado here are your 3 choices for most ridiculous photo. Please be sure to cast your vote in the comments section!

#1 They are patriotic. They have on shorts that are made of shower curtains. They're wearing super dorky socks. And one of them has on the world's largest hat. They are Kelly and Laura!

#2 My what tan legs you have! Nope, I'm wearing shimmery, super-tan panty hose. Those ridiculous pink gloves have come in handy when I need to dress 80s these days because, yes, I still have that entire outfit. And whooooo doesn't like a good jazz hands pose? That is what I want to know!

#3 An unlikely candidate enters the competition today, my friends. Jenny Rose is about as normal as they come. She was stylish when she was young and somehow she managed to avoid terrible bangs and glasses. Her downfall was that she spent way too much time with me. My sister and I weirded her up  the best we could. Here is a photo of me, Kelly, and Jenny Rose singing "I Wanna Be Rich" by Calloway. This is actually a screen shot from the video. The video is, by far, one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. This laser-backgrounded photo does not convey how weird we were.

It looks like someone (me!) is going to get a win no matter how you vote. I wan't trying to guarantee a win (although I did). I just wanted to make sure that all of the embarrassment doesn't fall on the very lovely shoulders of my lovely, lovely friends and family!

Who is it going to be?

#1 The patriotic duo
#2 Pinky McJazz-Hands
#3 The sunglass squad

 In case you missed the earlier episodes you can find them here and here.

One more thing before the WYR- don't forget to set your clocks back an hour tonight. If you go to bed at 9pm change your clock to 8pm just before you go to sleep.

My advice to those with babies or pets- don't try to get them ready for the time change. Just change the clocks like you are supposed to and soon enough they will get used to it.

I wish I could give you more advice on how to prepare your baby for the time change, but I can't. Last year, I consulted a number of people, spent a long time thinking about it, and practically wore out Google trying to figure out how I could change my clock little by little to prepare Cora for the time change. In the end, I changed her schedule by 15 minutes every few days. And guess what.... somehow this doofus managed to get Cora 2 hours off schedule instead of the 1 hours everyone else was off. Good luck with whatever method you choose!

Now, let's talk Would You Rathers!

WYR... 80s-looking lasers mysteriously showed up in the background of every photo you were in
or
every 4 hours (except while you're asleep) you had to stand up and sing the entire song, "I Wanna Be Rich"?

... come on people, I know these questions are ridiculous but you know you want to answer them! 

Halloweens Of Years Passed

Costumes, costumes, costumes.

I love home-made costumes. A few weeks ago I showed you some random home-made costumes that I particularly enjoyed. And now, I am going to show you some random costumes from my past.

I was Pippi Longstockings, a lifeguard (normal thing to be when it is 30 degrees out), one of the 3 blind mice, Santa Claus, and who knows what else. 

Lucky for you, I am pretty good at taking photos of my awesome Halloween costumes. Also, lucky for you... my mom takes photos like she is the paparazzi.

Look at those cute chubby cheeks that my sister (Oscar the Grouch) has! My costume is pretty awesome (Mom and Dad, it doesn't like you threw it on me at the last second at all)!

I inherited Kelly's costume from the previous year and Kelly turned into Strawberry Shortcake. FYI Cora inherited these costumes too! My mom held onto them for 30 years. Unfortunately, when you put on the mask it feels like about 30 cats are scratching your face simultaneously. It is the most jagged thing I have ever seen.

Also, if my dad was looking at the camera you would see one amazing mustache!

I am guessing you have no idea who we are supposed to be . I will give you some clues below. 

HAVE MERCY!
CUT IT OUT!

Angela (aka Angus is pictured at the end of this post looking a bit more normal) is supposed to be Uncle Joey from Full House. Mark (in the middle) is Danny Tanner (please take note of the cleaning gloves). I am on the end and I complete the trio as Uncle Jesse.
Danny has DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle in his brief case. I am holding onto Nicky and Alex.

The reason we decided to dress as the Full House boys is that we found those infamous stonewashed jeans at a Goodwill. They are about a size 55 waist and are amazingly too long for me (I am almost 6 feet tall!). We saw one pair and were dumbfounded. Then we came across a second and knew it was destiny. We knew we had to buy them and we would figure out the rest of the costume later.

I am sure Scott would like it to be known that it was his idea to be a Smurf. I decided to copy him at the last minute because I had not thought of a costume yet. He wasn't thrilled to share his silly idea with me but that is part of the deal when you get married... if you are going to be a Smurf and your wife wants to be one too you let her. (I will have to add this to my list of life lessons).

So, here we are... just a couple of 6 foot tall Smurfs.

A Smurfette close-up for you.

And a close-up of, what can only be described as a "cool player Smurf."

You might need to prepare yourselves for the next photos. Sit down. Grab a glass of wine. Turn on the WWF.

This is what you have all been waiting for. You may not have known it but, trust me, it is.

Not so much me. I am just Jem from Jem and The Holligrams. No one has been siting around waiting to see that costume.

RIC FLAIR! That is why you all are here. Scott is dressed as the most ridiculous person in the history of people. And, if at all possible, Scott looks 1,000 times more ridiculous than Ric Flair ever looked.

In case you don't know him... here is Ric Flair. His skin is a sweet, fake-tanned hue of orange. His hair is blonde as blonde can be and borders on mulleted. His outfits are insane. 

the most ridiculous photo I have ever seen from here

If you know anything about Ric Flair you should know that Scott is saying, "Wooooooooooooo" here.

How did Scott come across one of Ric Flair's original robes with beautiful gold fabric sewn all over it? Is that what you are asking? 

This will probably surprise you. But that is a home-made Ric robe. I took a stroll to my favorite costume finding shop, Goodwill, and I came across a plain, blue robe. I bought it along with the ugliest gold pillowcase I have ever seen. And I made the glorious WWF costume that Scott is wearing proudly here. Face paint was purchased. A blonde, princess wig was bought. A championship belt was hunted down and purchased. Gym shorts were hiked up and turned into whatever you want to call what is happening there.

And that is how an amazing Ric Flair costume was born.

On a much less exciting note... Just for comparison's sake, here is what Jem looks like from Jem and the Holligrams.

Truly Outrageous image from here

You can't quite tell because I am hiding behind Ric Flair but I had the microphone. I had the fanny pack-looking tassle situation happening at Jem's waist. I even had the star earrings. The earrings are key- that is what Jem uses to turn herself into a rock star!

Please feel free to copy any of these costumes. In fact, I highly encourage it. However, if you copy the Ric Flair costume you MUST send photos. The photos will then be promptly posted on this blog!

Just a week left until Halloween... you better go get your Goodwill on!

And now... The Would You Rather question of the day:

WYR... have to wear full scuba gear to your son or daughter's wedding (and you have no explanation why)

or wear clown shoes and a red, rubber nose to work every day for 1 year?

Birthday Numero Uno! Part 1

I am 2 months late on this but let's talk birthdays!

Hard-to-believe-disclaimer: There are actually no photos of Cora in this post. This is part  1. I promise you will get some Cora photos in the other parts. Now, grandparents, relax and enjoy some creepy clown footage.

We decided to have a low-key birthday celebration for Cora. Actually, we decided to have 2 low-key birthday celebrations for Cora. We had one with family and one with friends.


I had my mind set that I was going to keep it simple. No creepy clowns who make the kids cry (like my parents had at my 3rd birthday party).

That's me sitting on my mom's lap sucking my thumb and holding my security blanket. The  "creepy clown" is hanging out to the far left of the photo. Rat-tail, billowing sleeves, a gold vest, and an Olympic medal (?) around his neck... everyone knows that's what clowns wear.

At least he has a huge leopard printed tie and face paint.
Can you tell by the backs of our heads that we are not impressed with Mr. "Clown"? Louise (in the middle)... I like that rat-tail you're working with. Just wait until the clown turns around so you can see that you're twins!

No above ground pool or Slip 'n' Slide would be present at Cora's celebration.

No chocolate pizza (sorry Mali)!

Here I am blowing out the candles on my chocolate pizza birthday cake (my mom's specialty).


No Twizzler straws

source

No gumdrop trees

source

There wouldn't even be any bad perms at this birthday extravaganza.

Christina (Stewey)- are you always going to be the bad hair culprit?

No bizarre eyeglasses. No jingle bell PJs that go down to your ankles in August.

There are her beautiful glasses hard at work again!

No sleeping bags covering the house for this birthday party.

I've ruined all the fun? Is that what I hear you say... no slip 'n' slide, no perms, no creepy clowns. 

Well, what did we have? A BIRTHDAY BANNER!!!!

Here I am with the birthday banner that my mom put up every year. Going along with that tradition I made Cora her own banner.

Next week I am going to show you the birthday banners (yes, TWO of them) that I made for Cora. I am going to show you her cake face photo. I'll let you in on the secret recipe we used for her cake. I will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Cora's first birthday.
Until that time, stay busy by answering my WYR of the day.

Would You Rather Question:
WYR... add an extra 15 minutes to your day every single day
or
never have to wait in line anywhere ever again and never have to deal with customer service phone calls or emails?