Honest Toddler tweets hilarious one liners multiples time per day. I read. I giggled. And then I pick out my favorites from the past month for you to enjoy.
Here are my favorite Honest Toddler Tweets from 3-3-13 to 4-3-13:
- To the person who saw me crying on the grocery store floor and stepped over me to get sea salt, shame on you.
- Funny how you tried to high five me in the checkout line. Sorry to leave you hanging but I like to save those for friends.
- Watching adults try to get up in the morning is like seeing a baby elephant take its first steps. Incredibly sad but also funny.
- When your toddler needs blanket help 6 or 7 times in the night, just remember, it take a village. And the village is you.
- Most toddler don't even want much. Maybe a kiss, 3 hugs, 4-5 sips of water, quick tale of adventure and maybe a pancake.
- Toddler Tip: Did someone you love say "no" to you? They're confused. To help clear their head ask again times infinity.
- Before you try a Pinterest recipe check to see if any of those repins are from toddlers. Do your homework.
- How does the apple a day keeps the doctor away rule work? Do you eat it or throw it directly at them?
- Don't call someone a blessing and then try to fit their entire bedtime routine in a single commercial break.
- Toddler Tip: If they haven't put on people clothes by noon, you're not going to the park today.
- Sleeping Dog, Sleeping Tiger, Train That Does Not Move <-- These are not games. Your adult is trying to nap on the clock.
- When an onion makes you cry during preparation this is called foreshadowing. Mother Nature's emergency broadcast system.
- And Big Bird...it's not a nest if it sits on an alley floor. We call that a driftwood pile. Your life is in shambles.
- Toddler Tip: 3AM is as good a time as any to call a meeting about your sock situation.
- It was cats who taught toddlers to lightly cover pee/poo accidents before fleeing the scene. Thank you.
Time For My All-Time Favorite HT Tweets!
In case you need more Honest Toddler in your life: