I'm a little late with my Honest Toddler time again. For those of you who enjoy it, please do so now. For those of you who don't, it would make you a better person if you would just learn to love it.
Honest Toddler tweets hilarious one liners multiples time per day. I read. I giggle. And then I pick out my favorites from the past month for you to enjoy.
Here are my favorite 13 Honest Toddler Tweets from 6-4-13 to 7-3-13:
- Like I’m the first person to confuse a spider web for cotton candy. Calm down.
- If you know a discreet plumber who specializes in not jumping to conclusions please get me in contact.
- In trouble because socks aren’t seaworthy. In unrelated news, we might get a new toilet. :)
- Be paleo if you want but please don’t force this lifestyle on your small children who need the vitamins found only in hotdog buns.
- “No kicking. No hitting. No throwing.” Guess my muscles are just for decoration.
- Wish triscuits would focus less on that basket weave design and more on not tasting like actual basket.
- “Can’t nobody take my pride. Can’t nobody put me down. Oh no, I got to keep on moving.” - Diddy, age 2, naptime
- Siri is basically a Teddy Ruxpin for adults. Why can’t you make human friends?
- Ok so it turns out taking candy from a baby is really easy but outrunning its mom is not.
- In unrelated news, did you know you can get time-out at the park?
- “Sit and think about what you did.” I am. Next time I'm going to run faster. Maybe weave through some shrubs I don't know.
- FYI- It's not hide & seek if your toddlers waits in a closet while you read TMZ on your phone what's wrong with you.
- I want to address these time out rumors publicly before they hit the North Pole. Again, I am not nor have I been in time out today.
Time For My All-Time Favorite HT Tweets!
In case you need more Honest Toddler in your life: