"You don't have time," you say? Well consider yourself one lucky son of a gun! Because I am going to do it for you. Yes, sir-y-bob, it looks like you have just hired me as your Honest Toddler Tweet reader. Below I am going to give you my favorite HT Tweets of the week.
The Honest Toddler has a blog, a Twitter account, and a Facebook page. I have only read some of the Tweets and they are hilarious. I am not a Twitter person. In fact, The Honest Toddler is my first experience with it all together.
|Photo of The Honest Toddler|
BEST OF THE HONEST TODDLER TWEETS: 9-10-12 to 9-17-12:
- Grandpa came by and dropped off some flashcards. Ate half of one right off the bat gonna save the rest for a special occasion.
- One year old at the park used me to steady himself. Do I look like a walking stick, big infant?
- Toddler Tip: If being a winner means anything to you, start running on "Get Set."
- Don't try to cancel a game of Under the Blanket just because your toddler gently farts a few times. PLAY THROUGH.
- In time out because haters gonna hate. Period.
- Recipe: Take two tablespoons of mayonnaise. Gently mix with 1 teaspoon of mustard. Add in a box of cereal. RUN FOR YO LIFE LOL
- Was on the phone trying to order pizza for 25 minutes. Turns out I was talking into a scrunchie. :(
- Grandma called just to tell me I'm a beautiful child. If not for her love I don't know what I'd do.
- Hope Santa knows the difference between facts and heresy that's all I'm going to say.
- She started tickling me. Can't stay mad at her. In other news, I peed in the big bed. LOL
|I can't believe that this messy, little thing is now an Honest Toddler and no longer an honest baby!|
She's not quite as witty as the real Honest Toddler but she can say mom, dad, hi, bye, duck, cheese, juice, and dog!
The Huffington Post did a great article about the 50 best tweets of all time from "Honest Toddler." I had trouble but I managed to pare them down to my favorite 18 for you:
- I won't be eating much dinner tonight. Thanks for cooking though.
- Daddy really needs to back off. Mommy + baby = love forever. I've heard her heartbeat from the inside, dude. THE INSIDE. Top THAT.
- Can you stop looking at the clock? My bedtime will come when it comes. Rude.
- In time out. I regret nothing.
- Skipped my nap today. Exhausted. Will go right to bed. LOL. NOT. FEEL LIKE ADRENALINE & RED BULL ARE PUMPING THROUGH MY BABY VEINS.
- Woke up at 5AM crying. Appeared ill and confused. Mom let me get up out of sheer concern. PSYCH!! I'm fine! Running around yelling.
- Woke up from my nap happy and refreshed! Just kidding I hate everything and will need to be held until bedtime.
- Mommy saw a spider and almost cried. LOL I've eaten like four of those this week.
- Going to be an angel while grandma is here. Operation Discredit Mommy is in full force ya'll!
- Barista just asked me not to touch the pastry display glass. Licked it. In yo face.
- The awkward moment when mommy hugs you way too tight for way too long and whispers something creepy like "Don't grow." Get a grip.
- Jumped off the kitchen table. Turns out believing you can fly isn't enough. Thanks for the lies R Kelly.
- Just saw my newborn photos. I looked like Gollum in a onesie.
- Toddler Tip: When your parents hug, get between them and make that baby sandwich complete.
- Mommy ran into a friend on the street. "I've been meaning to call you!" Stop lying. You've been meaning to buy M&Ms.
- What is a bathroom door, really. Other than a love barrier.
- Accidentally said I wanted an Awful for breakfast. Meant Waffle. She laughed in my face and told Facebook. :(
- Dear Toddler Clothing Manufacturers, WE HAVE BIG HEADS.
HAPPY WEEKEND TO YOU!
If you don't have plans I invite you to come on down to Charlotte and get my baby toddler to sleep please.