Sunday, November 4, 2012

I'm Here For You, Google

Dear Google,
I know you get tired of answering people's questions all the time. So, I'm here for you. I'm going to take a load off your back by answering some of the questions you get asked.

Let's start with the "whats." I entered "what is" into Google's magical question-answering space and here are the the questions I got:

What is Scientology?
Alright (pronounced I-ight, if you're hip), people, let's talk Science with a little bit of tology. Here is what I know about the infamous religion.
Tom Cruise is the owner of all Scientologists.  Somehow, Tom talked my good buddy, Will Smith, into becoming a member. WILL... WHY!?!?!? Why oh why would you do that? And, more importantly, WHEN will you make another movie that lives up to the standards you set with Enemy of the State. That was, quite possibly, the best movie ever. Don't get me wrong- MIB III... not too shabby. Yep, for whatever reason, MIB III was the only movie I saw in the theater in 2012. 
Back to Scientology- Senor Hubbard is an alien from planet Melmac. He put his spirit into Tom Cruise and inspired him to do things like jump on couches and be the tiny man that he is.
That, my friends, is what you need to know about Scientology.

What is my ip?

You may have a keyboard that leaves off certain letter like l, h, t, k, or z. If that is the case, here you go:

L"ip" and H"ip"


from Napoleon Dynamite

enormous zipper photo found here
If you are wondering about an ip address then you came to the wrong source. I am not quite as learned in ip addresses as I am in Scientology. An ip address is the individual ID that your computer is assigned. It is only important when you are setting up your wireless network. 

If you are trying to figure out what the actual number is. Go to your control panel. You can probably find something from there.

What is gluten?

Aha!!!! Something that I actually know a little bit about. Gluten is found in wheat, barley, and rye. Luckily, it is not in quinoa (mmm quinoa is delicious!). Celiac disease is a digestive disorder. If you have it you had better stay away from gluten because gluten will make your body pretty upset. Some people think that avoiding gluten can help fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. I know quite a few un-gluteners (that is their perferred title) and they all love Rice Works chips and Udi's bread.
There you go- now you are all gluten-knowledged up!

What is instagram?

Yes, yes Instagram. It is the hip, new thing that all the kids are doing. If you have a fancy, smart phone then you download the app. for Instagram. You take photos with it that have funky effects and can make your picture look like it was taken in 1975. You can share your photos with your pals. You might even be able to write comments about your photos. Instagram seems awesome and I wish I was hip enough to use it.

Google, you know me too well! I typed "weird instagram" into Google Images and this popped up. I am not really sure how this was taken by Instagram but Google says it was so I have to believe them. And, everyone knows that this post needed another photo of Bea Arthur.

You're Welcome, Google! I'm here for you.

And just to keep Cora's fans happy... here she is!

Now, the Would You Rather Election question of the day:

WYR... elect Dwight (from the TV show, The Office) as President of the USA

elect Kevin (from The Office)?

image sources: Tom & WillBeautiful Bea, Tip, Kip, Gluten Free, Dorothy & Blanche


  1. WYR, an easy one, Dwight all the way. I think his speeches would be highly entertaining and of course I would fall right in line with whatever his plans might be.

  2. And think how soundly we could sleep at night knowing that it would be Dwight's finger on the nuclear trigger.

    1. yes, we would sleep well.
      are you still watching The Office? I have seen most of them but it is getting so lame. I'm ready to give it up.

  3. I would just like to say that Cora photo is ADORABLE!
    Very interesting info but the WYR...lame. I do not watch thre Office!

  4. You are hip enough to use instagram, please start so I have another way to follow you!!

    1. haha. Thanks! I also so not have a smart phone. However, my family is keeping me up to date. My sister gave me her old computer, which works about 100 times faster than the one i recently busted. And my dad is giving me his old Iphone that I will just use an an ipod touch. I think I can use instagram on that. too much info?

  5. I love that Cora photo! WYR: Dwight. Kevin stinks.

    Hi Louise!!!